Wednesday, 12 August 2009

• Marry Early?

  Save yourself for marriage. We’ve all heard the abstinence arguments before. Through various organizations, churches, pastors, and married couples, the message of abstinence has been force feed and shoved in the faces of young Americans. The message is being presented, but what about other messages that need presentation but are lacking it. Marriage is presented in the church but how much on the subject is present to those not married.

   

  Mark Regnerus has an article in Christianity Today entitled “The Case for Early Marriage” (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/august/16.22.html). Regnerus points out that “over 90 percent of American adults experience sexual intercourse before marrying. The percentage of evangelicals who do so is not much lower. In a nationally representative study of young adults, just under 80 percent of unmarried, church- going, conservative Protestants who are currently dating someone are having sex of some sort.” If his percentages are accurate, it shows that even in the realm of abstinence young church-goers aren’t doing very well. How after so many abstinence messages could the percentages be so high?

   

  Regnerus states “I've come to the conclusion that Christians have made much ado about sex but are becoming slow and lax about marriage—that more significant, enduring witness to Christ's sacrificial love for his bride. Americans are taking flight from marriage. We are marrying later, if at all, and having fewer children.” This may be due to messages of higher divorce rates coming out of younger marrying individuals. Teen marriage may not be the wisest decision. However, according to Regnerus, marriages that take place for couples in their early 20s are not as risk prone.

   

  Making a case for marriage and abstinence, Regnerus article calls for a balance in teaching. Marriage should be taught so that those considering young marriage understand it fully and Biblically. The last thing we want is to have people “marring early simply for the promise of long-awaited, guilt-free sex.”

   

  I’m not sure I agree with everything Regnerus had to say. Do we really want to pressure couples who are struggling to wait for sex into marriages? He did however address that in his article and it seems he has the same concerns.

   

  What are your thoughts should we be content with marrying later or should we push marrying younger? Will sending messages to marry younger really resolve issues on abstinence?

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